The Power of Goodbye
by ZaKai
Summary: No matter how painful it is, sometimes you just have to let go. :RoyEd, Oneshot:


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**The Power of Goodbye**

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**Roy thrust his hands deep into the pockets of his heavy, military overcoat and let his gaze lazily move over his surroundings. It was a very chilly wintery day. There was a moderately heavy snowfall, which would add a rather large layer of snow once it stopped. Every once in a while a frigid breeze would blow, but luckily that was only on occasion. Mostly the air was still and the snow flakes drifted straight down to their destination.

The new snow made the park look new and spotless, but it also added to the bleakness of it. No leaves clung to the trees, making them look dead in their mid-winter slumber. A thick layer of ice covered the large pond in the center of the park. The whiteness of the ground and the grayness of the afternoon sky seemed to sap any color that was left from what would eventually be a lively and colorful place to be come spring.

Roy gave a heavy sigh and watched his warm breath puff out mistily in front of him. Ah spring... The season of love... He couldn't help but feel a little bit of bitterness over that. He and Ed had started dating in the spring. It had been... Well, it had been _wonderful_. They'd been like two animals driven by instinct to mate, and not a night had passed that they weren't clinging together in heated passion.

Going to work had been both ecstasy and torture. He would see Ed and want to touch him and hold him, but they'd had to make due with simple looks and words. Their banter had become a verbal foreplay to when they could actually be together in the way they wanted. His thoughts and dreams had constantly been filled with Ed, and Roy knew that he'd never felt this way about _anyone_.

And Ed... Ed had always had this _look_ in his eyes. It was something that said that he felt the same way that Roy did—something that was between lusty need and a type of adoration, which only seemed to deepen every day.

Roy's attention was diverted from his thoughts when a bird called raucously before flying away. He looked for it and was rewarded with one glimpse before it was gone. At that moment, a slight breeze blew and the snow swirled around him. He shivered and tried to burrow a little more into his coat with little success.

He looked bleakly out over the frozen pond as his thoughts took him over once more.

Yes, his passion for Ed had been overpowering, and at the time he hadn't imagined anything that could take that away. But he'd been wrong... Seeing each other day after day had worn on them. Life had over taken them in its harsh realities. Roy was Ed's superior officer and sometimes he'd had to command Ed to do things he didn't want to do. Resentment began to crop up over small misunderstandings. Their mock fights had become something real and grating, and there would be harsh words, stinging insult, and unfair accusations from them both.

Of course, they would make up, they _always_ made up, and the makeup sex was fantastic despite the underlying frantic need to compensate for something they were obviously losing. Life would go on and for a while their relationship would be warmly cordial, but then the cycle would begin again... and again... and again...

Now their relationship was lukewarm at best. During the day they'd be stiff and formal with each other, biting out curt words when needed. They had to make it work for the sake of their jobs and careers, but he knew that his other staff could sense the sudden change in temperature when he and Ed were in the same room.

And at night they fought. Like cats and dogs they went at it; and though the wounds they inflicted on each other couldn't be seen, they were deep and most never really healed properly. But they loved at night as well... There were heavy and heartfelt apologies from one or another of them before they gave in to their desires.

Roy had supposed that their attraction and need for what physical enjoyment the other could give was what kept them from splitting up. Because, oddly enough, no matter how bad it got, no matter how dark the night or how hurtful the words, neither of them had ever mentioned that they might just be better off not being in this relationship.

But, more often now, Roy found himself thinking that very thing, and wondering why he was staying. He'd been in other relationships that weren't nearly as bad as what his and Ed's had become, and had jumped ship quicker than a man on fire.

So, why stay with Ed?

And slowly the realization had come to him. He actually _loved_ Ed. There was something deep in what they had. They'd... _connected_... on some level, and it kept them together. The only reason he could think of that Ed stayed was for that same reason. The passion he'd felt for Ed in the beginning really _had_ been more than what he'd ever felt for anyone else.

But, unfortunately, the pain he was feeling now was also deeper...

The sound of snow crunching caught his attention and he saw Ed trudging toward him. Ed's head was down and his body leaned slightly forward as if to get momentum. He was bundled up much better than Roy was, though that was probably due to Alphonse's influence.

When Ed was close, he looked up and growled, "Fucking _freezing_ out here today. We couldn't have talked somewhere _else?_" His cheeks and nose were pink from the cold, though he was wearing a hat that covered his ears. Several locks of Ed's blond bangs stuck out of the hat. A thick scarf was wrapped around his neck and he wore a heavy coat and thick gloves.

"We could have," Roy said simply.

"But?" Ed asked.

"But nothing," Roy replied. "I was just saying that we could have met somewhere else."

"Right," Ed grunted. "You know how much I hate having to bundle up like this. You did it on purpose, didn't you?"

Roy just stared at Ed and pressed his lips together. He hated it when Ed read things into his words that weren't there, but Roy would admit freely that he was guilty of the same thing. It was just one of those things that showed how deteriorated their relationship had become.

Instead of answering, Roy looked back over the frozen lake and gave a heavy sigh. He _really_ didn't want to do this... he really didn't... But there seemed to be no other choice. They were in a horrible downward spiral and nothing they did was fixing it. There was too much hurt, too much distrust, too much history...

"So... What do you want?" Ed asked, sounding hesitantly curious now. When Roy glanced back at him, Ed's face had a wary look to it that made Roy wonder if he knew. Or at least if Ed had an idea of what was coming. He hoped so.

"We've been together for a while," Roy started. It was an effort to keep his voice calm. He really wanted to shake Ed and ask him how it had come to this and how they could fix it, but he pushed those feelings aside. This was for the best... for him and for Ed.

"Yeah," Ed said, urging him on.

Roy eyed Ed, then shook his head. There was no easy way to say this. "It's not working."

Ed stared at him, digesting this, then he said, "What do you mean 'not working'?"

"I mean that it's not working. We fight too much. There are too many hard feelings. It's just not working."

"So... what?" Ed asked, sounding defensive now. "What do you want? What am I doing wrong now?"

"Nothing in particular right now," Roy said. "I'm just saying... in _general_ this isn't working. I'm tired of the fighting and—"

"Oh, I see," Ed said, sounding angry now. "You're tired of fucking me and so you need to go get yourself something new to screw."

"That's not it at all," Roy said tightly.

"Isn't it?" Ed snapped.

"No, it's not."

"Right," Ed said. "I believe you. I mean, if you wanted fresh meat you'd just go get some. Not even worry about getting rid of the old stuff first."

Roy glanced away, feeling angry now. He breathed deeply in through his nose, then let it slowly out of his mouth. "I've _never_ cheated on you. _Never._ I don't know when or where you got this insane notion that I wasn't faithful to you, but—"

"I'm not stupid. I see you looking," Ed accused.

His eyes widened involuntarily and he looked back at Ed in disbelief. "I _look_! That's _it_!"

"I'm the only one you should be looking at!" Ed returned in frustration. "Or maybe you just don't like looking at me? Maybe you're tired of having to look at so much automail?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that doesn't matter?!" Roy exclaimed. "I can't believe how self-conscience you are with me? You'll walk around practically showing off your arm half the time, but when it comes to me, then you worry about it! What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Oh, now something is _wrong_ with me," Ed said.

"That's not what I meant," Roy amended, instantly regretting his choice of words. He held up a hand and said, "Stop. Just... stop." When he saw that he had Ed's attention, Roy said, "I didn't want to fight. I just..."

Ed's face took on a pained look through the anger. His lips tightened, and his eyes crinkled a little, making his eyebrows knit together. Oh yes... this hurt... It would hurt them both... Why was this so hard...? It wasn't fair, wasn't fair that it had to be him that did this. But he had a feeling that Ed would never be able to let go on his own.

"It's over, Ed," Roy said quietly.

A cold breeze blew and the locks of Ed's bangs moved and tickled his forehead. Ed blinked his eyes a few times, then gave him a look of betrayed misery, and of pure hatred. He swallowed, then said hoarsely, "That all?"

"Yeah..." Roy said. "That's it."

There were no tears from Ed like there always were with the women he'd dated. Roy could see the pain was there, but Ed wasn't one to let those tender feelings show very often. He knew that Ed wouldn't want to seem weak and he'd hold it all inside.

"Well..." Ed said tightly. "I have work to do." And with that, he turned and started away.

Roy watched him go. There was a tight pain in his chest and a stinging that touched his nose and eyes. That had hurt a lot more than he'd thought it would... He blinked his eyes and forced himself to stand there as if he was unmoved by what had just happened.

He slowly began trudging through the snow toward headquarters and wondered if there could have been a better way. Had he done the right thing? The saying 'time heals all things' came to mind, and he hoped with all his heart that it was true.

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**Comments are always appreciated. :)**


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